Study after study has demonstrated a truth summed up in this quotation
It’s better to give than to receive doesn’t mean that you put everyone else before you or give until you’re drained. As women, we tend to put ourselves second or last. If we care about ourselves more than others, we feel guilty or selfish. “The 3 things we crave most in life—happiness, freedom and peace of mind—are always attained by giving them to someone else.” As women, we believe and practice this. I think most of us do it to feel good. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to help out a charity or someone less fortunate. However, if we consistently sacrifice our dreams, our happiness to care for others and make them happy, we end up feeling miserable ourselves. Some of us get cynical because people take advantage of us or a few get defensive and mean. We work twice as hard and as long as men to compete with them. We like to make the same income as men, but as mothers and/ or wives we juggle multiple jobs. Our chores and responsibilities are endless. Married men could earn more than unmarried men, but little difference could be shown for poorly paid women, married or not. About one-third of marriages are high in conflict (bitter, quarrelsome, hostile) and divorce is a healthy option for everyone, especially the children. Being divorced doesn’t help much. Divorced women report more stress as single parents and often list “ongoing conflicts (about custody, money) with ex-spouse” as one of the biggest stressors. More women than men today have college degrees. Many of them also marry men with less education and lower earnings.
My father was the breadwinner of our family and my parents’ marriage is based on traditional beliefs that men are better than women since men can better provide for their families because they earn more money. This kind of thinking is being replaced with marriages of “more equal market producers” or partnerships.
Many of us do not have a budget or forget to include giving in our budget. We’d feel the lack of planning at the end of the year when we ignore or haphazardly respond to charity pleas without an overall plan. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Charity should be a planned part of your budget. Using some forethought means you can give to the causes that are nearest and dearest to your heart, not just those with the money and energy to market their causes to you.
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Adapted from an email from www.learnvest.com